The Ironic Holiday Gift Guide
December 10, 2019
First and foremost, if you buy something on this list (not ironically) during the 2019 Holiday season, you’re doing something wrong.
Enjoy this holiday season guide of gifts to (not) give that special someone!
iPhone 11 Pro Max Sticker ($3.99 on Amazon)
This wonderful sticker makes any iPhone look like the new iPhone 11 Pro Max. It’s a wonderful gift for that uncle who still has his iPhone 4s and refuses to get a new phone. It’s one of those gifts, however; that the person you get it for most likely won’t understand what it is or why their getting it. Oh also, it makes the actual camera on your original phone pointless.
(st.) Nicolas Cage Christmas Ornament ($20 on Etsy)
Okay, do I even need to talk about how dumb this is… ask yourself the question: Why is this a thing? Who would pay $20 for this? Even if you’re willing to pay $20 for it, does it even deserve a spot on a Christmas tree?
I’ve seen the national treasure movies and grew up watching them. Personally, I don’t despise the franchise and as an 11-year old, I found them pretty cool. But, there is no reason to own this and paying $20 is outrageous.
2020 Pooping Pooches Calendar ($16.99 on Amazon)
Funny? yes. But there are so many better calendar options out there. However, this calendar may be good for that weird cousin who you don’t have anything for, but you know likes dogs. Even so, there are better options out there. Regardless, this calendar will certainly get a good laugh while it’s being opened.
Obviously this should not exist. It’s pointless and defeats the purpose of airpods. Fine. But, $60??? The one wrapped in a circle on the far left is $60 from Nordstrom. However, the one that pictures the actual airpods is $5.67 from Amazon. If you’re awful enough to buy or use these, don’t pay $60 for it.
Entire Shrek Script Mug ($14.44 from Redbubble)
For the person who has everything and loves the Shrek Franchise, this mug is ideal. It has the entire script from the first Shrek movie. huge bonus… its dishwasher safe! I think this is an absolute steal and should belong in every household. It’s the only gift on this guide that’s somewhat acceptable.
Nailed It Desk Organizer ($58 on UncommonGoods)
Wow, another steal at only $58! Think about its practicality, the picture shows “the organizer” holding 3 pencils, a few business cards, 3 nails, and a hammer on a spring. Now, after doing something marginally positive, you can hammer a nail into a half-inch piece of wood while disturbing your coworkers and making them despise you! You would use this once, maybe twice, then let it sit there and take up space on your desk. Its purpose is to organize your desk, not sit there and hold three pencils. Have fun paying about $60 for it!